So, something amazing happened today.
Lately, I’ve been word vomiting about how much I want to quit. However, I made a decision over the weekend. My decision was to live in gratitude. Gratitude for my amazing roommates, who keep my going, for my kick butt MTLD, who meets with me an obscene amount of times a week, for my 12-step meetings that keep me sane. Heck, even gratitude for my kids, that drive me bonkers. Early on in the school year I created a call and response chant with my kids; I say, “We’ve got an attitude,” they reply emphatically, “of gratitude.” But if I teach a phrase, I have to model it daily; I have to walk my talk. I can’t make my classroom theme “The Peacemakers” and then go and scream in my kids face. (I can, and I have, but it’s extremely hypocritical and quite ineffective)
Abraham Lincoln once said, “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” I’m making the choice to be happy.
Today in class, I had a solid 15 minutes of kids working silently on their math. Additionally, when we worked on word work, I had the kids split up into groups. They were so excited about it, that they all spoke in their inside voices at their individual groups. It was phenomenal. I’ve start differentiating more, and I actually turned in a plan that was due to my principal on time today.
I’m not saying that there weren’t moments (read hours) where they were nutso. I am saying that what you focus on grows and I’m going to focus on the wins.
So I get home today, sit on my couch and watch some How I Met Your Mother, when suddenly, instead of blurting out, “I want to quit”, my internal-mind-tape wants to blurt out, “I love my job” I surprised even myself with that one. I love my kids. I love love love my kids. I pray daily that I can give them the education they deserve, many of my kids have had a Teach For America Corps Member as their teachers for kindergarten and first grade, and now here they are in second grade, never having been in an experienced teacher’s classroom. I find that sad. Understandably, the turnover is so high (amongst TFAs and traditional teachers alike).
I’m gearing up for “Black October”
Here we go.